Hello! I've returned! With a bunch of tangents and unrelated things. Because that's what I do best. When I write, I am both super introspective and also completely random and have the ability to go on rants about pretty much anything. Or paragraphs of praise. Either one.
I’m getting really anxious about my trip to England. Anxious not as in anxiety but as in the must-need-happen-SOON phenomenon. I’ve been having inner wars about leaving Boston, and I’m sure I will continue to have them later on, but it will always come back to me dying to take this adventure. And it’s not because I want to leave Boston—I don’t—and it’s not because I love England—I do. I think a large portion of my desire to leave stems from my life history. I’ve moved a lot, and in the last four years especially, I’ve had some crazy adventures. I moved to Boston and found a real home, chosen by myself. I went to England as a tourist. I went to England as a student archaeologist. I went to Denmark and traveled Europe. I’m ready for the next adventure. The other thing is that I’ve almost been in Boston too long…I think, I hope even, that one day I’ll come back to Boston, and it might be sooner than I think (I mean, my plan to get a job in England might fall flat on my face and then I might leave after 90 days)…but right now, I sort of feel like I’m stagnating. I’m going to be doing the exact same thing in England that I’m doing here – I’m going to be working a not “real” job (though, really, someone needs to provide you with your caffeine fix) and writing, but it’s going to be an adventure and new experiences…and I haven’t been having as many of those lately, and I think I’m getting restless.
Actually, that’s a lie…I’m always having new experiences. Working at Starbucks is certainly full of experiences, and new people, which is the whole point. (I LOVE everyone there, by the way.) But, you know…I love England and have to go.
Speaking of new experiences, November certainly was one. It was a crazy, hectic, emotional whirlwind of a time and I loved it. As you saw, I did exceed my expectations fabulously. I wrote 50,000 words, which, I don’t remember exactly because I already transferred all the writing over to the various Word documents, but was about 85-90 pages.
(I could go into another tangent about how I am a weird, weird person and I seem, on the surface, very open about my writing and I’ll share some things, but as soon as people start asking questions, I get upset and hate answering. I’m a really, really complicated mix of open and private and I love superficially and theoretically talking about my writing, but whenever it gets real or I’m asked what I’m writing, I don’t want to talk about it. It’s just a weird quirk. It’s also a self-conscious thing.)
I had basically no life in November. Actually, no, I was proud of how much of a social life I did have, but my room was disgusting and I didn’t cook anything somehow for pretty much the entire month.
Not only was NaNo really satisfying for my own concept of my abilities and just pure writing-flow joy and showing me that if I delegate my time properly I have TONS of time…but it almost felt like a facial for my life. When I “left” NaNo, I felt rejuvenated with lots of new goals. Simple things like consciously trying to prevent my room from becoming AS bad (I have to have some clutter, though)…like trying to bake more (just made pumpkin cookies for the first time and they were a MAJOR success…I love sharing them and I love even more getting compliments ;D)…like trying to eat healthier. That’s actually worked fairly well.
(A link to an author who tried NaNo and failed but wrote an awesome blog entry about it…and, in general, is a god of a wordsmith. Completely seriously, if you like fantasy, or even if you don’t, or even if you only like Tolkein or Harry Potter, you should read Patrick Rothfuss. There is not a single misplaced or unimportant word in his work. And they are all beautiful. It’s unbelievably and makes me feel like a terrible failure at life – but only when I’m able to put the book down long enough to do that.
Blog entry here)
…This blog really has no purpose. It’s just me rambling about life. And the ‘goal’ purpose is a total front.
I’m going to post this random entry and then write another one about DC and actual goal-y things, maybe, but I should break up my rambles, because I’m convinced they take effort to actually read and make sense of.
Love you all (my total of three-ish readers…)
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